Question: “What are 3 top things you wish parents knew or understood more about you? What could we do to open the lines of communication more?” MCattLady, OH

Answer:
1. My emotions are not going to be displayed so visibly on my face, so just because I say everything is fine doesn’t mean that it is.
2. I constantly feel pressured to be the best at everything, and when I don’t do the greatest, I feel like I’ve let you down.
3. I’m not boy-crazy and I don’t want to date right now. I wish that you would have some trust in me to do the right thing.” I think to open the lines of communication more is going to be a big effort, and most parents underestimate that. Its not going to be a miraculous over-night thing that your children want to talk to you about their lives, so don’t push it too hard, but don’t give up either. And when we’re ready to talk, be ready to listen. My biggest fear about telling my parents about what is going on in my life is that they’ll either use that information against me in the future, or turn it into a “life-lesson” speech. Don’t think that everytime we talk to you is because we want your advice.. sometimes we just want to talk. If you have advice to give, ask us if we want to hear it BEFORE you say it. –
Jasmine7, 16, IL

Answer: “Things I wish my parents knew was like how they can trust me and I’ve never done anything, how hard school is for me, and how I really don’t like my dad and how we don’t have a good relationship”Grace, 17, OH

Answer: “What could we do to open the lines of communication more?” I can think of one main thing – when they get home from school, DON’T ask “hey _______ how was your day? What’s new?” Especially every day..we as teens get the idea that, well…you have no idea what to say. Honestly, we get very annoyed with that.” – Daniel, 17, OH

Answer: “Top three things to open the communication…..
#1. find something that your kid is passionate about and try to relate by either maybe a past experience of yours or maybe just help them dream! Example…. when i was younger i wanted to be a pro football player….. and my dad really took time to come to my games and coach me by all he knew. It even got to the point of getting a browns jersey with our last name and sporting my number. That was awesome!!! And when that dream faded, he helped me with the next dream i had!

#2. Really let them know you are available at ANY time! My parents were not only there for me but they would make sure i was always ok in my hard times when i would struggle through stuff. They would fill me with bible verses and just very helpful advice. (one suggestion though is dont harass them because that got on my nerves)

#3. just try and hang out with them! take them out to eat (if boy, boys ALWAYS eat) on a random out of nowhere occasion and just connect by really caring. and if not that like something more free (money wise), do what your kid likes to do!”Josh, 16, OH

Answer: “

1) sometimes I don’t want to tell you everything- I’m usually not in the mood for a lecture- I sometimes don’t want feedback! I just want you to listen…. And I hate it when you bring situations up from the past.
2) I’m a teen. My room will be a mess. It’s how it is (usually) I will clean it eventually. On MY terms…
3) that if you box us in, we want out! Keep rules reasonable and don’t change them all the time!!! That’s when rebelling comes into play
” – Mary, 15, OH

What do you think?

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