Question: “I have a 17 year old daughter who hates me. When she disobeys, I ground her, take her phone away and discipline her and that just causes her to rebel more. I tried giving her space and just letting her do her own thing and nothing seems to work. She hates me. What can I do as her father to help her?” – John, 36, WI

Answer: “This actually happened with my father and I. The way that I changed, was I saw that his attitude had changed, and he was actually hurt by how I was acting. I learned to respect him a bit more, honestly, mostly because I felt bad for hurting him like that, because I knew that he does NOT deserve it. After I saw that he had changed, that he is hurt, and he noticed a change in my attitude because I felt guilty, on the way to a dentist appointment, be brought up the situation, and ending in tears and apologies, it all worked out. Your daughter is 17. Hormones are going around her body like mad, and she feels like she should be independent by now. She picks her boyfriends, lives her own life, and no longer even tells you what goes on at school. To fix this relationship, I really feel that this will take time. Good luck..you’re in my prayers.” Amanda, 16, IL

Question: “This is probably the hardest dynamic to figure out. I’ve been the 17 year old girl who hates her parents and rebels just to throw it in their faces and I’ve also been the sweet 17 year old who does what she’s told. I honestly think it’s the age, though, because you’re 17 and you want to be free and hate doing what you’re told. I think you just have to endure it and just always be there to unconditionally and constantly show her Jesus Christ’s love. Do not with drawl or ignore her but don’t try too hard to the point of annoyance. I don’t know how close you are to your daughter but I’m sure that she’s enduring a lot. It’s hard being a teenager because you have everything in your life screaming at you to do different things (media, the kids at school, your parents) so it’s hard because you want to do what YOU want but you don’t really know who you are or what you’re going to do with your future. Also, because of all of these forces pushing at you tend to take out your frustration on the people closest to you (family, best friends etc).

I don’t know if you’ve tried this but maybe sit down and talk to her and try to see where she’s coming from. Also, let her know you’re always going to be there to love her and protect her. I hope that helps!” -Audrey, 17, OH

Answer: “I don’t know if you’ve tried this…but maybe sit her down and ask her? Ask her what’s wrong and ask her if you can do anything for you. Even if she blows you off, you can believe me when I say that she will always remember you caring enough to do that and she will one day (hopefully soon) realize how lucky she is to have a father that cares for her. There is way to many fathers today who don’t care about or even love their daughters how they should be loved. It’s a shame but thank God you aren’t one of those dads. You love your daughter, uncondiontally..and the more you continue to let her know that the sooner she’ll crack. Good luck, John! Matt, 17, OH

What do you think?

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