Question: “I caught my 16 year old daughter making out with her boyfriend in the basement. I came down to do laundry and saw them kissing each other..I didn’t see anything else but they don’t know that I saw them. As a mom, I want to beat the kid up and never let him touch my daughter again! Is it unreasonable to for me to force them to break up? – Anonymous

Answer: “If you try to force them to break up, that’s just going to give your daughter the idea to sneak around with him and think that you don’t trust her in her decisions. Think about it, when did you have your first kiss?..and did you think that the guy was a pretty good guy before you encountered this scene.”- Kely, 14, OH

Answer: “So…you’ve caught your daughter and her boyfriend. I understand that this can be a very tricky situation! Even though you are VERY angry about this, the last thing that you want to do is to try to force your daughter to break up with him. Most teens today will say “no!”, then you’ll fight then eventually she will get sick of it and say something like “Fine..whatever”. If it’s come to this point, most likely, your daughter and her “ex”boyfriend are still in a relationship behind your back. The best thing for you to do at this point is to let her know what you saw in the basement, and well…it’s time for “The Talk”. Let her know that you understand hormones of both male and females, and that the temptation is not worth the consequences of the guilt afterwards, or maybe even worse depending on how physical they are… Just to articulate: DON’T try to force her to break up with him. The best thing you can do is build trust with her, and let her know that you know what she thinks you don’t. If she thinks you don’t know, she may be pleased with her ability to keep the secret.” - Dan, 18, OH

Answer: “Well, I can see both sides of the story here. Being a teenager, I would be absolutely furious if my mother tried to make me break up with my boyfriend (and actually, she has tried.) A girl likes to know that the guy thinks that she is special. Kissing is fine, just as long as there is no groping or touching in places that shouldn’t be touched until marriage. Sit down and talk with your daughter about what the boundries should be. She’ll appreciate it so much more if you’re actually willing to hear and LISTEN to what she thinks about the whole matter. My mother only told me that if I have sex before marriage, she’ll pound me through a wall. So I never really felt comfortable with talking to her about my boyfriend. So he and I set up our own boundries, and his parents did too.- Deanna, 16, OH

Answer: “Absolutely is it unreasonable for you to make them break up. I understand your concern as a mom and the whole wanting to kick his butt thing because I feel like that towards my sister. If any guy wants to date her it’s the end of the road for him. However, your daughter (as well as my sister) is growing up and part of growing up is relationships and if you can tell me that when they were in your relationship with your husband that you didn’t ever kiss him than I think you know what I’m saying. Kissing is what people do, if you want to tell her not to kiss than all she’s going to do is do it behind your back. You should sit down and talk with her about the importance of being careful and not going to far and saving everything for marriage. You’re her mom, she will listen to you even if you think she doesn’t. Just be honest and transparent with your daughter and express your concern to her, she will remember it if things ever get too heated with her and a guy, trust me. – Anonymous

What do you think?